26 Feb

Most of us have dreamed about winning the lottery…tonight I have created a list of things I will buy for myself when that day comes. (in no specific order)

  • Buffalo. About 50. To be purposed for my buffalo ranch (open to the public!). People love buffalo: they’re super-prehistoric looking, furry, cute, and delicious.
  • An Addams Family pinball machine. If I have to explain it, you wouldn’t understand.
  • A Super Chexx bubble hockey game. (ibid)
  • A laundress. Is there a male or gender-neutral equivalent of this word? Launderer, I guess. Whatever. I just want someone to take care of anything and everything related to laundering. Forget a cook, I like doing that.
  • A few pair of Frye boots. If I just had to pick one: The Carson Riding Boot.
  • One of these things:

  • An addition to my house with the following:
  1. A screening room. I envision film festival themes, like: Matt Dillon Monday (Over the Edge, Drugstore Cowboy, The Outsiders). Or Fraggle Rock: The complete collection, etc.
  2. A room just for my bench from the Civic Arena, maybe with some of that fake ice in it. Who’s laughing now?
  3. A library with: a fireplace, white furniture, a few library ladders straight off of a Nancy Drew cover, a Keurig coffee maker, many Charley Harper prints on the wall, and a sweet wet bar.
  4. A fireplace with a built-in pizza/bread oven
  • A zip-line running from my house down to the creek (~250 yards)
  • A brass firehouse pole so I can slide down into my basement family room from my living room .

Honorable mentions

  • A bakery-sized commercial Cuisinart mixer and dough roller.
  • Season tickets to the Pittsburgh Penguins.
  • A pied-à-terre in Bloomfield/Friendship.
  • An elevated “woods village.” A series of treehouses and hanging bridges that you could walk in between.

Yep, I think that’ll do it.

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